Weaning

The time has come that I am officially trying to get him to stop the nursing and focus on the bottle (or sippy cup). He's always had to take bottles but now we're trying them almost all the time. He has 2 nursing sessions-morning and night and 2 bottles during the day. That's it. We've started trying the bottle at night. For the most part, it's working. Sometimes though he'll wake up and he will NOT go back to bed until he's nursed...we're still working on it. As for the morning, that's my fault because it means that I have to actually get up and get the bottle instead of having Andrew put him in the bed with me while I lift my shirt. Yeah, I'm serious. lol. So, my next step is to actually get up and give him some milk in a bottle (or sippy cup). The reason I say sippy cup is because he's starting to show disinterest in the bottle as well...we've only tried juice and water with the sippy cup so far but we'll try milk soon.

I am so blessed to have been able to breastfeed Isaac for as long as I have. While I am a huge promoter of breastfeeding, I will say that it is a lot of work. And it takes the support of a lot of people. I had that. Andrew has been wonderful as well as everyone involved with the internship...they never gave me any issues with pumping. I was also able to get a breastpump for free as well as a cosleeper which made it a lot easier. I also had a wonderful lactation consultant at Tripler when I delivered and while Isaac was in the NICU. I was devastated when Isaac didn't take to it right away and landed in the NICU. I couldn't help but blame myself for him being there. I wish that everyone had the resources to be able to breastfeed that way they can at least make decision with a little more help.

While I am excited to get my body back (I don't mean figure...I mean, not having to worry about everything I put in it), I am having a hard time with this. And let me tell you why. First there's the bonding factor. For the longest time, I loved being what Isaac needed. It felt great to be able to provide him with what he needed. When we first moved back to New Orleans, I had a hard time sharing him and had some depression with all the change. Being able to get away and go in a room to nurse Isaac alone was my saving grace sometimes. I love to watch him nurse while he just looks back at me. The second reason is hard to explain. You see, right now and for the longest time, my breastmilk was like liquid gold...take care of it, don't spill it, he better drink all of it, need to use defrosted milk within 24 hours, save every 1/2 oz. Lately to keep up with the supply I've been having to pump constantly (although it's a little easier now that he's doing 4 servings a day). If you can remember back when I posted a pic of all my breastmilk in the freezer...I only have 2 bags now. Totaling up to about 8 oz. That's enough for a little bit more that a bottle. So the problem is that I have a hard time just letting that go. Something I worked so hard for...just letting it dry up like that. It's like wasting a good thing.

*sigh* Silly I know, but it's true. And the fact is that I'm gonna have to let it go and just soak in every moment of these [probable] last weeks of breastfeeding. And realize that he needs me more than just for my milk.

Thanks for listening.